Category Archives: Emotional Intelligence

Identifying Emotional Triggers

Our emotions form the basis for all of our externally expressed behaviors. How do we identify emotional triggers? When faced with a given event or situation which then triggers an emotional response, some of those triggered emotional responses are desirable as in the case of a sports fan reacting to a close call.

Some emotions have to be regulated because our reactions become irrational or unreasonable in a given situation — understanding how stimuli affect us is key to identifying those emotional triggers.

Your BaselineIdentify Emotional Triggers

Since these triggers are our emotional triggers, the first place to start is with mindful meditation. You want to start with a baseline of your emotional equilibrium. How do you feel day to day when stimuli don’t trigger your emotions?

Each day take a few moments to reflect on your body’s physiological reaction to your daily routine and life events. Your response is the baseline. Here is the point from which you will feel a change when your emotions are triggered.

Your Story

Our emotional responses have been patterned from our experiences over a long period. How you tell your self-story, and pattern your self-talk is going to play a significant role in your emotional triggers.

  • Go back through your story.
  • Look at your life.
  • Which parts of it have had the most impact on you and how.

Some of these emotional responses will be buried in the grief you felt over the loss of a loved one, fear from your parents being evicted from your home when you were a child or anger and resentment from witnessing some form of hatred or bigotry in action as it pertained to your life.


Emotional triggers can be good and bad, but either way, they serve a purpose in helping us navigate our way through life. When you were a child, if your family was evicted from the safety of your home, your emotional triggers may drive you to make choices centered on that not happening again, or they can lead you to become violently angry if this happens to you as an adult. Understanding your emotional triggers is essential to working through rational and irrational behavior.

Childhood events play a more significant role in developing emotional triggers because these events happened during the years of our lives when we are the most impressionable when we are still developing and growing in mental capacity and clarity. So, take a look at your personal story.

Working from your baseline,

  • Which parts of your story have an effect?
  • What events in your past cause your heart rate to increase or decrease from your baseline?

Bear in mind that emotions have a variety of effects on us. They can cause our hearts to race, or to calm. From one extreme to the other- calmness to panic- emotions are our reactions to our environment, so don’t just look for triggers that upset you. Look for triggers that bring you joy, happiness, or calmness.

Starting with the triggers that bring you some happiness, you can then make your way to the triggers that bring you panic or anger. Do this so that you can calm yourself in case you trigger a state of panic by addressing a particularly painful moment from your past.

Once you’ve identified which triggers make you happy, ask yourself this: “How would I feel if this were taken away?”

Take note of how answering that question makes you feel, and where it takes your mind.

Your emotional triggers can be any number of things:


  • Happiness in general
  • Leaving the relative safety of your home
  • A dog peeing on your Iris’s
  • Your neighbor purposely walking his dog through your yard rather than on the sidewalk
  • Your child spilling her juice all over the table
  • Seeing a car similar to your first car
  • A knock at the door
  • The neighborhood kids hitting a ball into your yard
  • A friend getting married
  • Your mother-in-law being late
  • Your spouse leaving their socks in the living room
  • The dog insisting it’s time for a walk when all you need is three more minutes with a large project

You identify your emotional triggers by understanding your baseline equilibrium. Then you focus on what causes an unbalance either positively or negatively. You ask yourself why a specific event triggered an imbalance, and you have your emotional trigger.

5 Ways To Control How You React Towards Difficult People

We all have to deal with difficult people from time to time, but it’s how you deal with them that matters. Dealing with difficult people is all about control. If you maintain control of how you react towards these people, you keep control of the situation, not allowing those problematic people to win. In this article, we’re going to cover the five steps you can take to control how you react towards difficult people.Responding to Difficult People

1) Slow down and take a deep breath

It may sound cheesy, but this advice is given so often for a reason. If you slow down and take the time to take a deep breath, you’re allowing yourself not only time to calm down, but also time to consider your actions. When you react quickly without thinking, you tend to overreact and cause more harm than good.

When forced to deal with difficult people, take this time to slow down and consider how you will react to the situation. Don’t just respond quickly; control it.

2) Weigh out your reaction

The best way to control how you will react to difficult people is to weigh out the potential consequences of each response you could have. Weighing your options allows you to thoroughly think through and control how you react to these difficult people. Make sure you give yourself the time to do this; otherwise, you might regret what you say or how you handle the situation.

It is to your benefit to keep in mind that every action has consequences, be it their initial action or your reaction. You have to weigh these consequences as best you can and decide on how you’ll react to these difficult people.

3) Keep Calm

The only way you’ll be able to control your reaction to difficult people is by keeping calm. Give your emotions control, and you will overreact to these situations, you lose complete control. You have to remain calm in these situations to keep control.

4) Step away

You have to step away from the situation and allow yourself time to adjust and respond. Stepping away from the issue and giving yourself the space to calm down and analyze how you’ll respond will allow you to keep control of it. Taking time will help you to maintain control of the situation and how you handle the difficult person before you.

5) Know when to walk away

The last step in controlling how you react to difficult people is knowing when to walk away from the situation. If you aren’t getting anywhere with the difficult person and the situation seems to worsen, it’s time to walk away.

There’s no use wasting your time and breath on a difficult person that won’t budge. It will only cause yourself more stress and harm than it’s worth. You do not lose when you walk away. If you aren’t getting anywhere, there’s no use trying at that moment. If it is crucial, the break will give you time to come up with a solution.

Dealing with difficult people is, unfortunately, a necessary part of life. However, how you deal with it is entirely up to you. You are in complete control of how you respond towards difficult people; you have to realize it. This article will help you to strengthen your ability to control your reactions.

Keep in mind that you need to stay calm and maintain control. You have control how you react towards difficult people, and when you walk away; you exercise and strengthen that power.

Do You Control Your Emotions

Most people perceive emotional outbursts to be wholly involuntary and assume that they have no power over what they feel and their resultant responses. Living at the mercy of your emotions is quite draining and often puts you in an erratic mood that is unpredictable. Are you in control of your emotions?

Emotional outbursts are quite undesirable as having no handle on your emotional responses gives you a lot to be guilty about in the long run and also affects your social ties. Controlling your emotions means learning to channel emotions in more constructive ways. You also get to enjoy more control.Control Your Emotions

The important thing is to asses if you are in control of your emotions by analyzing the events of your typical day. If you cannot explain the sudden change of your mood or lack consistency in exhibiting a given mood, then your emotions control you.

Getting Control of Your Emotions

There are multiple benefits that a person who is in full control of their emotions enjoys in their life. Such include better mental and emotional health, ability to solve problems effectively, increased happiness in their lifestyle with fewer triggers of stress, and so much more.

Here are three practices that will aid in developing emotional intelligence that works in your favor every time.


Emotions offset your internal balance hence affecting the way you think and your physical responses. This chain of reaction may happen so fast overwhelming you in an instant leading to poor decisions and self-destructive patterns.

Meditation works to achieve a balance in your internal environment in a bid to get you in focus to deal with your external environment with a clear mind. Meditation makes you in tune with your authentic essence, and with a complete understanding of self, you can internalize different situations rationally.

With meditation, even the most intoxicating emotions can be brought into focus by concentrating on your inner balance. The art of meditation gets better with practice and complements your life with positive attributes that put you in control over situations in life.

Knowing when to respond

Your emotions get the better of you if you plunge into a hysterical outburst immediately after being triggered. People with a short fuse are usually easy prey for individuals with malicious intentions. Getting easily triggered impacts your relationships, efficiency at work, and also how you feel about yourself in general.

Immediately upon your emotions being triggered, take a couple of minutes before you respond. Let the wave of emotions sweep through your entire body and within a minute and a half the level of agitation will lower significantly. According to scientists, it only takes 90 seconds for emotions to be generated and dissipate throughout your entire body.

Pausing and taking a time out can help you regain control and better manage difficult emotions. Take long, and deep breaths then respond when you have composed all your senses to the situation at hand.

Practicing Self-compassion

Self-care lets you deal with your most complex needs, thus enabling you to work on yourself. Self-development is strategic as it gives you more control over what you feel, what you think and, in the end, how you respond to different issues.

Self-care lets you deal with feelings of inadequacy and eliminates your most prevalent insecurities. Understanding your self-worth is essential in figuring out what to respond to and what is not worth your time.

Being enslaved to your emotions can be disastrous and even life-altering as it means you are not in complete control of your actions. Being in control of your emotions lets you make decisions that lead to the life of your dreams.

Image by ashish choudhary from Pixabay

Positivity Can Change Your Life

Do you know what happy, successful people think about every day? It’s simple. They think about what they want and how they can get it. Positivity can change your life.

When you spend your time thinking and talking about what you want from life and how you can achieve it, you will feel happier and more in control. When you think about happy things, your brain releases endorphins, which give you a feeling of well-being. It doesn’t take long to develop a positive attitude.Positivity Can Change Your Life

The Importance of Optimism
Psychological tests have shown that happy people have a specific quality that enables them to live a better life. That quality, of course, is optimism. If you’re groaning at the thought of such positivity, because you worry that you can’t become an optimist, then stop right now. According to WebMD, optimism can be learned. It’s all about cause and effect. If you change your way of thinking and align it with optimists, you will start to feel happier and see results.

The Happy Find The Good In The World
There are two distinct ways that optimists deal with the world, which sets them apart from the rest:
First, they remain focused on what they want, looking for ways to achieve it. They set clear goals and remain confident they will achieve them.
Second, in every difficult situation, an optimist will look for the good. When something goes wrong, they determine what lesson or knowledge can be drawn from the situation.
If you look for the good in someone or something then you will always find it, and in the looking, you will find yourself more cheerful.

The Power Of Positive Thinking
Optimists seek the lesson in every obstacle. They don’t get upset and look at where they can lay blame. They control their emotions and look at things logically.
Positive thinking has several benefits for your life:

Motivation: Willpower and motivation come from a strong mind. Negative thoughts lead to negative actions. When you replace pessimism with optimism, you reshape your outlook.

Strong Relationships: Happiness attracts happiness, thus happy people attract people who are happy. If you surround yourself with negativity, you will only attract negativity. Positivity can change your life and it breeds trust, which builds strong relationships. Without trust, relationships cannot survive. We are hardwired to seek trust.

Confidence: Negativity spreads and can impact other attributes, such as self-esteem and confidence. The key to leading a happy life is loving yourself. Optimists laugh louder, love harder, and walk taller. They glow.
Strong Mind & Body: Negative thoughts are draining and can have a severe impact on your mental health. They can leave you struggling to get up in the morning and inhibit your ability to sleep. Fatigue leads to weakness, sadness, and lack of motivation. Therefore, negativity takes a toll on your whole body.

Choose Happiness
You can make the choice today to see the glass as half full instead of half empty. Look at your blessings rather than noting every shortcoming. Look at the best in everyone around you, because in truth, the majority of people are honest and good. Look for the good in their actions and in their words, and resolve to be of good cheer.
It’s easy to be upbeat when everything in your life is going well. However, it’s even more important to do so when everything is going against you or is falling apart. You can still draw from your inner strength and look on the bright side of life. Positivity can change your life and it will pay off in spades.